Discography & Lyrics

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Say The Words EP (2013) – Self Release

  1. Another Year Alive
  2. When The Ball Drops
  3. Say The Words
  4. Please Lie To Me
  5. I Should Stay
  6. Hannah Bond
  7. Kids In America (Bonus Track)

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What Happened to the Empathy EP (2012) – Self Released

  1. Little Emily
  2. Ms Smith’s Brand New Thick Skin
  3. Time After Time

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    Good And Bad Angels (2011) – Goldirock Records (US and Canada)/ Big Buzz Records (UK)

    1. (A Theme For) Good and Bad Angels
    2. Hannah Bond
    3. Inhale/Exhale
    4. When The Ball Drops (or Nua Lang Syne)
    5. Please Lie To Me
    6. Angels (Took You From Me)
    7. Tonight Might Save My Life
    8. Those Beautiful Words
    9. Samsara
    10. Shelf Life
    11. A Last Retrospect
    12. Angels (Brought You To Me)
    13. (A Requiem For) Good and Bad Angels

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    Ayreshire (Live Acoustic Album) (2009) – Hot Topic Exclusive

    1. Changing of the Seasons (Acoustic Live)
    2. Blind and Screaming (Acoustic Live)
    3. Filling In/ Leaving Out (Non Album Track Acoustic Live)
    4. Learn to be Happy (Acoustic Live)
    5. No Truer Life (Acoustic Live)
    6. A List of Demands (Acoustic Live)
    7. I Will Be Fine (Acoustic Live)
    8. Your Secret’s Safe With Me (Acoustic Live)

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    I Am Born (2009) – 89 Music Group (US)/ Yellowfish Records (UK)

    1. Sorry Even Matters
    2. Your Secret’s Safe with Me
    3. The Insignificants
    4. Changing of the Seasons
    5. Learn To Be Happy
    6. Blind and Screaming
    7. I Will Be Fine
    8. Rewind The Tape
    9. Completely Buried
    10. Better I Swear
    11. Tour Vans and Neurosis
    12. No Truer Life

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    Death of the Dreaming (2007) – Delphine Records

    1. This Record will Start Skipping
    2. Better I Swear
    3. Your Secret’s Safe with Me
    4. Completely Buried
    5. Sentences Left Incomplete
    6. This Could be Salvation
    7. Your Friends will Forgive You
    8. Last Last Time

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    The Manifest Destiny Rebellion (2005) – 10-34 Records

    1. This is Not a Song
    2. Learn To Be Happy
    3. Changing of the Seasons
    4. Drive Away
    5. I will be Fine
    6. A List of Demands
    7. Sorry Even Matters
    8. Tour Vans and Neurosis
    9. Life is so Rad
    10. I Love You…Get Away From Me
    11. Blind and Screaming
    12. This Apology (Hidden Track)

     

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        The Truth About Lies ( A Collection of Early Songs) (2003) – 10-34 Records

        1. Untitled
        2. Drive Away
        3. Faerie Under Finger
        4. Nothing Special
        5. The Truth About Lies
        6. Changing of the Seasons
        7. I’m Not Like You
        8. Tar Lines
        9. Procrastinate
        10. Begin Again
        11. Not Around
        12. Some Comfort Here
        13. Giving In Again
        14. Blind (Hidden Track)

         
        Angels (Brought You to Me)


        Angels (Took You From Me)


        Another Year Alive


        Blind and Screaming


        Changing of the Seasons


        Daily Drowning


        Dead at 27


        Drive Away


        Faerie Under Finger


        Grand Guignol


        Hannah Bond


        How I Spent My Summer Vacation


        How to Avoid Large Ships


        Hurt Before


        I am the Villain


        I Love You…Get Away From Me


        I Will Be Fine


        Inhale/Exhale


        A Last Retrospect


        Learn To Be Happy


        Life Is So Rad


        Little Emily


        A List Of Demands


        Nothing Special


        Please Lie To Me


        Rewind The Tape


        The Same Old Song


        Samsāra


        Shelf Life


        Sorry Even Matters


        This Apology


        This is Not a Song


        Those Beautiful Words


        Tonight Might Save My Life


        Tour Vans And Neurosis


        The Truth About Lies


        When The Ball Drops (Or Nua Lang Syne)


         

        Angels (Brought You to Me)

        Two days in London and my whole world has changed
        Fifteen years and thousands of miles but this feeling is the same
        Two days in London and my world’s turned upside down
        Everything I thought I loved quickly fades into background

        And I’m awoken by the knock from the hotel maid
        Oh no, I explained, the girl who was here now has gone
        Only I have stayed. Draw the curtains tight
        Please don’t let any light find its way inside
        When she’s gone I’m not so strong
        So maybe today I can just stay here and hide

        Two days in London now everything has changed
        Hold me tight in the Underground kiss me sweetly on the train
        Two days in London, my eyes are open wide
        At every possibility to turn around this dead end life

        ————————————————————————————————

        Angels (Took You From Me)

        I am left with these nights hiding out in a hotel room
        High above the city
        I am left with those days taking each other’s photographs
        And wandering the streets

        I had just gotten back from overseas
        You had written a letter asking if you could come stay with me
        You had left me a message asking if I could call you please
        And the very next night the angels took you away in your sleep

        Now I am left with those nights driving around in Washington
        Trying to find you
        And I am left with the way that you jumped up into my arms
        The first moment I saw you
        And I am left with these pictures and all of these memories
        Of our fragile little life
        I am left with the guilt and the deep understanding that I
        I never said goodbye

        ———————————————————————

        Another Year Alive

        Well you can look up to the sky
        And you stare out at the horizon
        But this is what you’ve waited for
        So go ahead and take your time
        Watch the season dying
        But this is what you’ve waited for

        So you can keep on waiting
        But I am not waiting
        Because we’re never going to find
        Another moment like this again

        And I have waited all my life
        For a moment like tonight
        And I have waited up all night
        For the chance to make you mine
        And all I want to do is make it
        Through another year alive

        You can look into the past
        Try to find some answers
        But this is what you’ve waited for
        And you can let this moment pass
        Slip between your fingers
        But this is what you’ve waited for

        And you can keep on waiting
        Keep hesitating
        But you’re never going to find
        Another moment like this again

        And I have waited all my life
        For a moment like tonight
        And I have waited up all night
        For the chance to make you mine
        And all I want to do is make it
        Through another year alive

        —————————————————-

        Blind and Screaming

        sleep now, sweetheart.
        i will watch over you.
        you’re sleeping deeper
        as sleep comes creeping in the room.
        drift off baby.
        i’ll sit and wait for you
        to come back and say to me
        “i’ll always stay with you.”

        so sleep now, sweetheart.
        i will watch over you.

        sleep now, sweetheart.
        i will watch over you
        you’re sleeping deeper
        as shadows bleed across the room
        when i get needy
        i know you’ll be there for me
        when i’m blind and screaming
        i know you’ll take care of me

        so sleep now, sweetheart
        i will watch over you
        sleep now, sweetheart
        i will watch over you

        —————————————-

        Changing Of The Seasons

        i went to blossom in the morning
        sat on the roof of my car
        wanted to write something important
        haven’t come up with anything so far

        i was thinking about leaving
        just cash my chips in and walk away
        ’cause it’s the changing of the seasons
        and my blue skies have all turned gray

        i was thinking would it matter
        if you never saw me again
        ’cause my life is torn and tattered
        and i know you’ll never ever let me in

        i was thinking about leaving
        ’cause i don’t feel the need to stay
        ’cause it’s the changing of the seasons baby
        and my blue skies have all turned gray

        the sun’s been stolen from my sky
        endless days fade into night
        and i have lived my life in darkness so long
        well can you shed some light?

        i was thinking of driving real fast
        just cash my chips in and walk away
        and it’s the changing of the seasons baby
        and my blue skies have all turned gray

        i’ve been thinking about leaving
        ’cause i don’t feel the need to stay
        and it’s the changing of the seasons baby
        and my blue skies have all turned to gray…

        and on… and on… and on…

        ———————————————————————————-

        Daily Drowning

        i used to think that only i felt this way
        that no one understood the storms inside me
        that no one else could hear when the waves came crashing
        but someone should have seen me slowly sinking
        at night i used to dream that love had found me
        then wake up once again for my daily drowning
        and always everything in which i ache
        is endlessly out of my reach

        so i go back in time
        and i try to find
        my earliest of childhood memories
        and it’s undefined
        but i know it’s mine
        when i hear it inside a melody
        i can go back there anytime i need

        i used to think my friends would stay beside me
        i used to think my life had some kind of meaning
        i used to feel this passion burn inside me
        i used to believe in a higher calling
        at night i used to dream that i was flying
        then wake up once again to a life of falling
        and always everything in which i ache
        is endlessly out of my reach

        i put the headphones on
        let the music start
        and drown away the world
        it’s only in a song
        i feel like i belong
        that i feel understood
        so i escape through 16 bars of time
        travel down each metered line
        each couplet caries me much closer
        to all the truths i’ve left behind

        Dead at 27

        looking back on the past 12 months
        a year that never was
        i just couldn’t seem to get it off the ground
        and now summer’s memory
        and i’d fall for anything
        but i don’t every thing you’re coming back around

        you said that i was so nihilistic
        yeah you were always so over this shit
        you said you never thought i’d settle down

        you said i thought you’d be dead at 27
        you’d be dead at 27

        jumping off of balconies
        only black below our feet
        four stories falling through the night
        until water reaches us
        so deep it stings our lungs
        this is a test to prove that were alive

        and you were always so scared for me
        and your concern was oh so sweet
        i remember when you said to me

        you said i thought you’d be dead by 27
        you’d be dead at 27

        and you know that sounded fun
        but i am an only son
        and i really want to make my mother proud
        so i write my little rhymes
        and i sing these little lines
        just hoping somewhere someone feels
        the same way i do

        because i thought i’d be dead at 27
        i’d be dead by now i’d be dead by now

        ———————————————————————————-

        Drive Away

        crying as you’re driving
        as the rain falls from the sky
        and you’re thinking about leaving
        as a tear falls from your eye
        and no one ever has the right
        to make you feel the way you feel tonight

        somehow someway
        i will make this all ok
        i know someday
        we will both drive away

        needing and i’m bleeding
        as my friends just turn away
        they are lying and deceiving
        as they never meant to stay
        and no one has ever felt the way
        the way i feel about you today

        somehow someway
        i will make this all ok
        i know someday
        we will both drive away

        and if you wanted we could leave tonight…

        somehow someway
        i will make this all ok
        i know someday
        we will both drive away
        —————————————-

        Faerie Under Finger

        If I talked to God tonight
        It’d be for the first time in my life
        and he’d probably say to me
        “Enough with the songs about your ex-girlfriend”

        You said to me one time
        “Only write songs with one person in mind”
        So I’ll write this song to you
        And I hope to God it’ll be the last one

        I hope you find someone new
        I hope he takes care of you
        I hope he treats you right
        I hope you have a really nice life

        We share some cosmic bond
        Some fucked up thing
        That’s made us both crazy
        And I don’t know how it got to this
        But I’m pretty sure how this will end

        You know I’m happy now
        I found a girl who really makes me smile
        I think when the time is right
        The two of us will probably get married

        But I can’t sleep for dreaming
        About you hovering over my bed
        And smiling at me as you
        Slit your writsts
        And I go blind from all the
        Blood you’ve shed

        Faded memories still linger
        Like your faerie under my finger

        If I talked to God tonight
        He’d probably tell me
        Get on with my life
        But how can I keep moving forward
        When I’m constantly looking back

        We share some cosmic bond
        Some fucked up thing
        That’s made us both crazy
        And I don’t know how it got to this
        But I’m pretty sure how this will end

        ——————————

        Grand Guignol

        wait a minute
        my hearts not in it
        my blood runs cold
        and i just can’t quit it
        it’s too much take me
        back to the beginning
        because i’m not the one
        i’m not the one

        sorry darling
        i know you’re very charming
        but the knife you hold
        behind your back
        is getting quite alarming
        sweet sweat
        give me something more disarming
        because you’re not the one
        you’re not the one
        and i’m not the one
        i’m not the

        sink your teeth in deep
        lay me down
        i’ll never go to sleep again
        i trust in sin
        i let you in
        so lay me down my soul to reap

        your black magic
        charming vulnerable and tragic
        you’re rosy red lipped
        for this esbat addict
        this grand guignol
        has reached it’s final act
        but i’m not the one i’m not the one
        no i’m not the one
        i’m not the

        sink your teeth in deep
        lay me down
        i’ll never go to sleep again
        i trust in sin
        i let you in
        so lay me down my soul to reap

        wait

        —————————

        Hannah Bond

        If I could save you from drowning tonight
        I would give my life for you right now and
        I swear that I would trade with you
        If you’d stayed with me because
        I can’t face the night all alone

        We are the only ones who feel this pain
        The lonely ones who scar the same and
        We fear the same mistakes each other make cause
        We are the only

        One night it just takes one frantic night
        To take you from your bloodsmile overdramatic eyes
        So carelessly you slip into the warmth of a
        Double edged goodbye. Goodbye.

        We are the only ones who feel this pain
        The lonely ones who scar the same and
        We fear the same mistakes each other make cause
        We are the only ones

        If I could save you from drowning tonight
        If I could save you from drowning tonight
        If I could save you from drowning tonight I would

        We are the only ones who feel this pain
        The lonely ones who scar the same and
        We fear the same mistakes each other make cause
        We are the only ones

        —————————————————————————————–

        How I Spent My Summer Vacation

        i’ve got a deviated septum
        from my deviant behavior
        and i’d die with you
        i’d die with you
        here at the dawning of the daylight
        but i dare say they might catch us
        when the sun catches our skin
        but it’d be so glorious
        so glorious
        that i dare say we should let them
        this is the story of my summer vacation

        i was hanging out with your friend one time
        i guess you told her once
        that you wished you were mine
        she said you liked me while making fun of you
        i went to where you worked
        to see if it were true

        nights full of thrills
        talking shit and chasing pills
        getting bounced from all the clubs
        blacking out and making love

        it was sometime in the summer
        we lost track of who we were
        when the features start to blur
        it was sometime in the summer
        we said goodbye to our old loves
        and made the pact to light this world on fire

        late nights of drinking until we’re blind
        red lights and blurry yellow lines
        high speeds and higher clouded mindes
        it felt so right at least at the time
        holding hands
        falling asleep making plans
        until the tourists find us sleeping in the sand

        it was sometime in the summer
        we lost track of who we were
        when the features start to blur
        it was sometime in the summer
        we said goodbye to our old loves
        and made the pact to light this world on fire

        all bridges were burned
        that’s how we were living
        all scars were earned
        no fucks were given
        two lovers scorned
        racing towards the ending
        we watched our lives burn

        i’ve got a deviated septum
        from my deviant behaviour
        and i’d die with you
        i’d die with you
        i’d die with you
        i’d die with you

        _____________________________________________

        How to Avoid Large Ships

        it was sometime in the summer
        when you said you’d stay forever
        you later said that you were sorry
        when you left me in september
        and your statements sang the sorrow
        like the coldness of the winter
        but i’m in no state to stray outside
        so i’ll stay in and remember

        you were so sorry so sincere
        so long take care
        so sorry so sincere
        so long take care of yourself

        then silently winter slid into spring
        as i solemnly studied your latest flings
        that you tried to keep quiet
        but tounges will sing
        but don’t worry my lover
        it don’t mean a thing to
        me and you will never part
        you can try to replace me
        with cehap imitations
        tell them you love them
        then break their hearts with a

        so sorry so sincere
        so long take care
        so sorry so sincere
        so long take care of yourself

        she may be the tune on my lips
        but you are the melody
        endlessly playing
        in my memory

        ____________________________________________

        Hurt Before

        i wanna love you but i’ve been hurt before
        and i’m not certain i have it in me anymore
        you tell me that you’re different
        but how can i be sure
        i want to love you but i’ve been hurt before

        and i have loved
        and i have lost
        i have given everything
        to never have it returned to me
        i wanna love but i don’t know if i believe

        each time i try
        i’m blindsided
        hurt by those that meant the most
        more than i will ever show
        i wanna love you but i’m scared to let you close

        please don’t hurt me i don’t know if believe

        please don’t hurt me

        _______________________________________

        I am the Villain

        something turned off like a light switch
        when you said what you said
        i know i’d never want to see you again
        i used to think i could love you
        then you did what you did
        and now i don’t think we can even be friends

        i don’t want to hear your voice
        i don’t want to see your face
        you know you had a choice
        you made your lonely little bed
        and now there’s nothing you can do but lay

        so you go go go
        you run away so far away
        but it’s never far enough
        no it’s never fare enough
        and you know know know
        you are your worst enemy
        but to you i am the villain
        i am the villain

        then something just clicked inside mo
        because you are who you are
        and i will never ever get you to change
        you just seemed so damaged
        you were mad at the world
        and i thought i could help you see through the rage

        so you built your walls right up
        brick by brick to keep me away
        i tried to earn your trust
        so you cast me as a villain so you didnt
        have to live with the pain

        somethings you can’t take back
        there are things you can’t retract
        i guess we’ll never speak again
        i guess i’ll have to be ok with that
        there are things you can’t take back
        my god well i know that
        i guess we’ll never speak again
        i guess i’ll have to be ok with that

        and now i know we will never be anything
        and now i know i will never be anything you need

        _________________________________________________________

        I Love You…Get Away From Me

        i think it’s a joke
        the way that you apologize
        and it hurts
        knowing you can lie while looking in my eyes
        and you laugh
        but this is no joke this is my life
        and you cry
        but tears won’t make this alright

        and when we lay together
        and i ask you what you’re thinking
        you will tell me “nothing really”
        i know your “nothing really”
        has a face and a name
        and here i thought that we were both the same
        oh no

        so yeah maybe i’m afraid of me
        and what i’ll say instinctively
        when i’m with you don’t know what to do
        i’m grounded by your platitude
        and what i need is some room to breath
        away from all this apathy
        so write this down in your diary:
        he said ” i love you…get away from me”

        i think it’s a joke
        the way you say you understand
        cause you don’t
        there’s no way for you to comprehend

        and when we lay together
        and you ask me what i’m thinking
        i will tell you “nothing really”
        know my “nothing really”
        has a face and a name
        know that i have learned to play your game
        oh no

        so yeah maybe i’m afraid of me
        and what i’ll say instinctively
        when i’m with you don’t know what to do
        i’m grounded by your platitude
        and what i need is some room to breath
        away from all this apathy
        so write this down in your diary
        he said “i love you…get away from me”

        sometimes when we lay together…
        ——————————————-

        I Will Be Fine

        i will be fine
        i will not miss her
        i’ll just spend the night
        in my bed with some scissors
        they’ll snip where she slept
        and they’ll cut where she kissed
        they’ll carve the word “nothing”
        while i am not missed
        and i will be fine

        i will be fine
        i will not cry
        i won’t stay up
        late at night wondering why
        i will not focus
        on details i miss
        how she never once
        closes her eyes when we kiss
        and i will be fine

        i will lie here
        with each sharpened memory
        shears you can not take from me
        with mere lies and treachery
        and we’ll remember
        every broken promise made
        with each crimson line we lay
        with such perfect symmetry

        i am not a hollow shell…

        i will be fine
        i am not empty
        i’ll just walk around
        like a ghost in this city
        i’ll smile when we meet
        and i’ll say polite hi
        and i’ll never once tell her
        how i want to die
        cause i will be fine

        i will lie here
        with each sharpened memory
        shears you can not take from me
        with mere lies and treachery
        and we’ll remember
        every broken promise made
        with each crimson line we lay
        with such perfect symmetry
        ———————————————

        Inhale/Exhale

        Inhale, breathe in the night be glad that we’re alive
        Cause it’s true there’s something about me and you
        That’s impossible to define
        And I’ll stay awake all night if you stay awake all night

        Exhale, breathe out the past. You’re not the girl you were
        They want to keep you behind glass all ribbons and curls
        To me you’re so much more
        To me you’re so much more than that

        Exhale, breath out the ghosts you’ve kept tied to your dreams

        I promise I won’t let that haunt you if you should fall asleep
        I won’t leave your side
        I won’t leave your side until morning’s light

        And you inhale feel lungs expand the first breath of a brand new life
        Promise me your fashion will be hearts on sleeves and if yours fails

        You can have mine
        Inhale

        Inhale breath in the night be glad that we’re alive
        Inhale

        ——————————————————————————————

        A Last Retrospect

        These past few months have been impossible to take
        It’s impossible to shake this loneliness since you went away
        And I’m afraid that this feeling is forever
        And somehow I will never be the same since you said

        You said baby let go until I am just a memory
        Because darling you know it’d make it easier on me
        And what came before could be just a shadow of a dream
        So baby let go until there is no more you and me

        These past few nights have been the longest of my life
        I’m scared that I might die from this emptiness since you said goodbye
        I don’t know why you said we’d be forever
        If you never meant forever all this time why’d you lie

        You said baby let go until I am just a memory
        Because darling you know it’d make it easier on me
        And what came before could be just a shadow of a dream
        So baby let go until there is no more you and me

        —————————————————————————–

        Learn To Be Happy

        i heard that you like him
        in fact that you are smitten
        i heard that he has tattoos
        i heard that his band’s real cool

        and i cannot believe
        this is happening to me
        i thought we’d be forever
        and i’d learn to be happy

        i heard that you kissed him
        on a lonely wooden bench
        behind a cemetery
        where my martyrs laid to waist

        and i cannot believe
        this is happening to me
        i thought we’d be forever
        and i’d learn to be happy

        bleeding for hollywood
        maybe if you suffer long enough
        someone will publicize this tragedy

        and i cannot believe
        i cannot believe
        this is happening to me
        and i cannot believe
        i cannot believe
        i cannot believe yeah

        bleeding for hollywood
        maybe if you suffer long enough
        someone will publicize this tragedy
        —————————————–

        Life Is So Rad

        i wanna make you sad
        i wanna make you cry
        i wanna make you feel the way
        i feel inside

        and i won’t ever be alright
        no i won’t ever be alright

        i wanna loose your face
        to forget your name
        would be the change i need
        so i can face the day again

        but i won’t ever be alright
        no i won’t ever be alright

        you heard the anxiousness and urgency
        if my voice on the phone
        and the little voice inside your head
        said “he shouldn’t be alone”
        so picked me up and you held me up
        and said “when’s this gonna end?”
        when you’re not with him

        and i won’t ever be alright
        no i won’t ever be alright

        ——————————————-

        Lil Emily

        I found myself lost in Chicago
        What I hoped to find there I don’t know
        What I found is that I’m still alone
        And I probably should be heading home

        One of these days I’ll find a girl who’ll care for me
        And she’ll want to start a family
        And she won’t have to lie
        About all those other guys
        But for now I know I’m not worthy

        Lil Emily fades
        Lil Emily fades
        Lil Emily fades
        Lil Emily fades
        For the things I wouldn’t say
        All the times I couldn’t stay
        Lil Emily fades

        I spent the summer on my father’s land
        Dug my toes in Carolina sand
        Listened hard to what my Grandmother sang
        Promised my mom I’d be a better man

        One of these days I’ll find a girl who’ll wanna be my bride
        She’ll take great pride to stand right by my side
        But until then I have my band
        And we’ll hop into the van
        And we’ll tour this whole world wide

        Lil Emily fades
        Lil Emily fades
        Lil Emily fades
        Lil Emily fades
        For the things i couldn’t say
        And the times I went away
        Lil Emily fades

        Whatever happened to my empathy
        What happened to my sense of dignity
        And when did I grow up
        When the fuck did I lose touch
        And just start playing for your sympathy

        —————————————————

        A List Of Demands

        considering the pain you bring
        with every memory
        i am alive and reconsidering
        every little thing

        just like the faded folded photograph
        that haunts me in my dreams
        i’ve got this funny fucked up feeling
        that you’re nothing like you seem
        so won’t you think of me in the silent moment
        before you go to sleep
        because i think of you with memories stolen
        i want to lock you up
        and keep you safe from harm
        just out of reach
        tucked away hidden and underneath

        and i can’t help but be this way
        but i am changing every day
        and the harder that it seems
        it just grows that much more important to me

        considering the scene you’re in
        white belts and black jackets
        bandannas peering out of back pockets
        cigarettes and sunglasses
        you’ve got your attitudes and your alcohol
        won’t sleep alone tonight
        i’d rather be alone than lonely
        with you anti-socialites
        i miss my dog
        and that big blue van
        and i hate all your friends
        you love your scene so much so keep all that

        and i can’t help but be this way
        but i am changing every day
        and the harder that it seems
        it just grows that much more import to me

        i’ve got this little idea
        to list my demands right here
        for all the world to see
        just to proclaimate them
        and encapsulate them
        may be all the help i need
        so here goes…

        not to be so negative
        not so argumentative
        not to be possessive
        and not to be so aggressive
        not to be judgmental
        and not to be so serious
        not to have this cloud
        hanging over my head
        and not to be so lonely
        i’ve got to snap out of this
        not to be a liar
        and not to be so cynical
        i’ve no control

        and i can’t help but be this way
        but i am changing every day
        and the harder that it seems
        it just grows that much more
        important to me
        ———————————————–

        Nothing Special

        At one point in my life
        I was vain enough to think that I
        Could touch you and make you smile
        But now that we’re face to face
        Those feelings have been replaced
        And I still see the sadness in your eyes

        I  don’t feel like standing
        So I guess I’ll just sit here
        And I don’t feel like talking
        So excuse me if i stare
        And I don’t need this in my life
        I loved you for no reason
        But I am nothing special
        I am nothing special
        I am nothing special

        And everything he’s ever said
        Was stolen from some book he’s read
        While everything I told you
        Came from my heart
        But we’re not talking anymore
        It’s not the same not like before
        And it’s so sad we’ve grown
        So far apart

        I  don’t feel like standing
        So I guess I’ll just sit here
        And I don’t feel like talking
        So excuse me if i stare
        And I don’t need this in my life
        I loved you for no reason
        But I am nothing special
        I am nothing special
        I am nothing special

        And I said “I wana see you again
        I wanna come over and just see you”
        And she said “I don’t think that’s such a great idea
        You know I don’t ever wanna see you again”
        And i said “When can I see you again
        I wanna come over
        I wanna see you again and see you again”
        And she said “Oh no. I dont ever want to see you again
        I dont think that this is right and no
        you know we can’t be friends”
        And I said “No no no
        You can’t do this to me
        You can’t keep fading in and out
        And fading fading endlessly”
        And she said “No no no
        You can’t do this to my life
        You can’t keep waltzing in and out
        Whenever the mood hits you right”

        I  don’t feel like standing
        So I guess I’ll just sit here
        And I don’t feel like talking
        So excuse me if i stare
        And I don’t need this in my life
        I loved you for no reason
        But I am nothing special
        I am nothing special
        I am nothing special at all

        ——————————

        Please Lie To Me

        You’re not like them
        Those other girls who all love to play pretend
        Fake facades with names to match
        Wearing makeup like a mask
        To hide the faces of their past
        But then there’s you

        You’re open water reaching sunset
        The smile of a daughter I have not met yet
        I was lonely all along, never thought I could belong
        With someone like you
        I hope that I was wrong

        Because now I know with you I am home
        And if you know just say so
        But if you don’t

        Please lie to me
        Tell me you love me even if you don’t believe
        Tell me you’re lonely baby I’ll agree
        Tell me you love me or lie to me

        Time and time again so hard I have tried
        Through gritted teeth and burning eyes I have cried
        And every lonely night when I felt like I might die
        I never dreamed that I would find a better life

        But now I know with you I am home
        So if you know it just say so
        But if you don’t

        Please lie to me
        Tell me you love me even if you don’t believe
        Tell me you’re lonely baby and I’ll agree
        Tell me you feel that I’m just what you need
        We fit perfectly when you lie with me
        Tell me your secrets baby confide in me
        I’ll be your best friend and your diary
        So baby please please please please

        Now I know with you I am home
        So if you know it in your soul baby tell me so
        But if you don’t

        Lie to me
        Tell me you love me even if you don’t believe
        Tell me you’re lonely baby and I’ll agree
        Tell me you feel that I’m just what you need
        We fit perfectly when you lie with me
        Tell me your secrets, confide in me

        I’ll be your best friend and your diary
        So baby please lie to me

        —————————————————————–

        REWIND THE TAPE

        I can do better I swear I promise
        I’ll do my best to not get so nervous
        And I can trust you and not get so jealous
        Of the other ones that came before me and I
        I can hold you without being needy
        I can be there without being smothering
        And I won’t compare you anymore
        To the other ones that came before you and I
        I’ll be there everytime that you need me to talk it
        out or to just sit silently I’ll give you space everytime that you need it
        I’ll keep you safe when you can’t think clearly

        I want so badly to rewind the tape
        To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
        I want so badly to make this ok
        To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
        You’ll come back to me

        I can do better I swear to god
        I’ll be more normal I’ll not be so flawed
        And I can hold it together unlike
        Those other nights that came before this and I
        I can listen and not be judgemental
        I can provide with love unconditional
        Restricted tension to every detail
        Please forget about the me you knew before
        And I’ll be there everytime that you need me
        To talk it out or to just sit silently
        I’ll give you space everytime that you need it
        I’ll keep you safe when you can’t think clearly

        I want so badly to rewind the tape
        To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
        I want so badly to make this ok
        To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
        You’ll come back to me
        You’ll come back to me
        You’ll come back to me
        You’ll come back to me…

        I want so badly to rewind the tape
        To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
        I want so badly to make this ok
        To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
        I want so badly to rewind the tape
        To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
        I want so badly to make this ok
        To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
        You’ll come back to me
        You’ll come back to me
        You’ll come back to me
        You’ll come back to me…
        _____________________________________________________

        The Same Old Song

        sing me a song
        and fill it with sorrow
        but end with the promise
        of a new tomorrow
        because there’s something broken inside me
        there’s something broken inside me

        sing me a story
        dark and forbidden
        but end with the moral
        and a happy ending
        because there’s something broken inside me
        there’s something broken inside me

        it’s the same old song
        and we’d sing along
        with the stereo on
        it’s that same old tune
        you’d hum in your room
        when we were all alone

        all alone

        so sing me a song
        and fill it with longing
        but end with the promise
        of a new day dawning
        because there’s something broken inside me
        there’s something broke inside me

        _____________________________________________________

        Samsāra

        Are we like children wandering in the cold
        Lost and all alone just waiting to be called home
        All my life I’ve waited for a sign
        All this time spent waiting
        I’m waiting for the ending

        When I am laid to peace I pray that it’s like sleep
        With all my friends surrounding me
        This waking world a dream when I am finally free
        With everyone I’ve ever loved surrounding

        Can you feel it
        Coursing through your blood
        Deep inside your bones
        When we leave do we leave alone
        And all my life we’ve waited for a sign
        All this time spent waiting
        I’m waiting for an ending

        When I am laid to peace I pray that it’s like sleep
        With all my friends surrounding me
        This waking world a dream when I am finally free
        With everyone I’ve ever known surrounding

        I will be free
        Free from the memories

        When I am laid to peace I pray that it’s like sleep
        With all my friends surrounding me
        This waking world a dream when I am finally free
        With everyone I’ve ever known surrounding

        —————————————————————————–

        Shelf Life

        I headed head first into infatuation
        You headed home to honor your grandmother’s memory
        And I hate to think of how he held you
        And how his words provided much needed comforting
        So I headed East across the Carolinas
        To visit Ruby by the sea
        I’ve never seen a soul so sincere
        In a girl with such short life expectancy

        It seems the shelf life of my friends is far below average
        We all expire in our prime

        And a late night frantic phone call left me shaken
        And you’re cutting off your hair to change your life
        But a difference in makeup can’t make up for the things you hide
        And your new style can’t cover what’s inside

        Names are tattooed on and covered with broken hearts
        X’d out arms tingle with drunken shots
        A change of address comes with a change of name
        For years a waste now such a shame
        What’s in a name anyway

        It seems the shelf life of our love is far past due
        It expired long ago

        Cause you’re not the girl you used to be
        And I’m not the boy you used to dream you’d meet
        We’re not the people we pretend to be
        Rock n roll kings and model queens

        But we rarely speak anymore
        No we barely speak anymore
        And I can’t remember when we stopped saying I Love You
        I love you still

        ——————————————————————————-

        Sorry Even Matters

        i wanted something better than this

        there’s something missing in you eyes
        the light’s been gone from them
        for days and nights are lonely
        when you go away

        there’s something missing in your smile
        is there something you want to
        say to me but you’re
        afraid to say

        and i know that you know
        what it’s like to be alone
        and you know, i know
        what it’s like feeling alone

        i don’t know and i’m not sure
        if sorry is good enough anymore
        i don’t know and i’m not sure
        if sorry even matters

        there’s something missing in my life
        is there something i should take
        if taking something
        takes this pain away

        there’s something missing in my life
        is there something i should say
        if saying something
        makes you say you’ll stay

        and i know that you know
        what it’s like to feel alone
        you know, i know
        what it’s like being alone

        i don’t know, i’m not sure
        if sorry is good enough any more
        i don’t know and i’m not sure
        if sorry even matters

        cause i wanted something better than this

        —————————————–

        This Apology

        It’s not alright. It’s not ok.
        It’s not enough that you feel this way.
        It’s not alright and it’s not ok.
        It’s not enough that we feel the same.

        I will write this apology.
        Line after line I will rhyme this apology.
        Time after time I will find it’s so hard to say I’m sorry.

        Dear Love, I like this love.
        But a love like this is likely to level me.
        Dear Love, I like this love.
        But a love like this is likely to level me.

        I will write this apology.
        Line after line I will rhyme this apology.
        Time after time I will find it’s so hard to say I’m sorry.

        I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

        ——————————–

        This is Not a Song

        this is not a song
        this is not a melody
        this is just another attempt at a sincere apology

        this is not a song
        this is not me singing
        this is just an open letter this is me apologizing

        and this is not a song
        these are not lyrics
        this is just another way to chase away these spirits

        and this is not a song
        these are not my words
        this is simply me saying sorry to a girl
        —————————————

        Those Beautiful Words

        If you loved me
        How could you go and leave me
        Didn’t you mean anything
        Those beautiful words you told me

        I hope this finds you one lonely night
        And your shatter proof picturesque life
        Gets the tiniest fracture line
        I hope this finds you and you cry
        I have wept till I had no tears left
        I was certain it would be my death

        And if you loved me
        How could you go and leave me
        Didn’t you mean anything
        Those beautiful words you told me

        I hope that you are still looking your best
        I’ve dressed for my funeral each day since you left
        And I hope that you are surrounded by love
        For you it’s never enough

        If you loved me
        How could you go and leave me
        Didn’t you mean anything
        Those beautiful words you told me

        And I wish you all of the best
        A life you can truly call blessed
        I hope you find happiness
        Just not yet and not with him
        I wish you the very best life
        You’ll be a beautiful and blushing bride
        All the happiness we could not get
        Just not yet

        Our apartment has three months on the lease
        But since you left I just can’t get any sleep
        So I packed our belongings, turned it into storage
        And moved down the street

        Now I still visit when I need some things
        The weight of our former life hangs here heavily
        You say you still love me. I want to believe
        Please come home to me

        If you loved me
        How could you go and leave me
        Didn’t you mean anything
        Those beautiful words you told me

        ——————————————————

        Tonight Might Save My Life

        The air is crisp tonight
        Slips through my lips and stings my lungs
        As we run. Run this town. (All black everything)
        The moon is low tonight
        It lights our way as shadows play
        Through the streets. The streets we own

        Oh for so long I’ve been falling
        So long I have fallen for their lies
        At what price?

        Tonight might save my life
        Tonight might save my life
        If you care for me now just be there for me now
        Come save my life

        Time is dead tonight
        No sweeping hands or falling sands
        As we hide as we lie
        War has died tonight
        There is no them there’s only us
        And we are in love and love is enough

        Of for so long we’ve been falling
        We fall like the stars from the sky
        It’s tonight

        Tonight might save my life
        Tonight might save my life
        If you care for me now just be there for me

        And I believe I could find some peace
        With you tonight in these city streets
        I believe I could finally sleep
        To the rhythm of your heartbeat

        Tonight might save my life
        Tonight might save my life
        If you care for me now just be there
        Tonight might save my life
        Tonight might save my life
        If you care for me now just be there for me now
        Come save my life
        —————————————-

        Tour Vans And Neurosis

        with another foot closer to the preverbial ledge
        with another broken heart and busted edge
        with another empty promise that i know i can’t keep
        and another fading night because i know i can’t sleep

        with everything you are and everything i’m not
        with everything i’ve lost and all these vices i’ve got
        with every waking second of every fucking day
        with all these haunting voices that i wish would go away

        and i am praying for rain to fall down on me
        and wash off the pain that i’ve grown to need

        i am praying for rain to fall down on me
        they say it’s cleansing and i believe

        they say regret looks back confusion looks around
        they say faith looks to the sky so i focus on the ground
        cause i’m stepping on the cracks practicing what i can say
        just to try to make it better or just make it ok

        and i am praying for rain
        to fall down on me
        and wash off the pain
        that i’ve grown to need

        i am praying for rain
        to fall down on me
        they say it’s cleansing

        and you ask “are you mad at me?” and i confirm
        you don’t even bother asking why you’re unconcerned
        from kicking you out to kissing in the rain
        this life is like a bad romance movie
        so goodbye to old lovers goodbye to this town
        goodbye to my friends who feel they once knew me well

        cause i got me some songs and i got me a band
        and i got me a day job to buy me a van
        and i’m leaving this town and you people i hate
        and i’ll smile to myself as we hit the next state

        and i am praying for rain
        to fall down on me
        and wash off the pain
        that i’ve grown to need

        someone turn down the sun
        bring me some night
        i can’t stand the way
        i look in this daylight

        i am praying for rain
        to fall down on me
        and wash off the pain
        that i’ve grown to need

        i am praying for rain
        to fall down on me
        they say it’s cleansing
        and i believe

        they say that miracles never cease
        well i am totally alone
        they say the history just repeats and repeats
        i am once again on my own

        ——————————————-

        The Truth About Lies

        Watching her sleep
        So soft and sweet
        Rhythmic breathing
        Simple poetry
        And the truth about lies is

        The wind rushes in
        Caresses skin
        Where my lips have been
        Just a moment ago
        And the truth about lies is
        And the truth about lies is

        And the truth about lies
        the truth about lies sleeping peacefully
        And the truth about lies
        the truth about lies is resting quietly

        ————————————-

        When The Ball Drops (Or Nua Lang Syne)

        Even though we tried so hard
        We just couldn’t be together for the first snowfall
        And oh I know I know you told me so
        We both had obligations to fulfill

        You said “it’s all part of growing up”
        And I know that your band is blowing up right now
        You gotta go when you say you gotta go
        And I know exactly how you feel

        But the holidays are hard alone
        And I don’t know if I can get through this
        On my own with you on the road
        And a countdown tonight is supposed to end with a kiss
        This new year

        If we only had one night together
        Forever and ever
        Know that I would trade a lifetime
        For one night

        (Ten) The countdown starts with anticipation
        (Nine) The crowds ready for a celebration
        (Eight) The lights dim as everybody counts down
        (Seven) I’m wondering where you are right now
        (Six) I scan the crowd thinking maybe she’ll surprise me
        (Five) With a sly smile she sneak up behind me
        (Four) Wrap her arms around me whisper she’s mine
        (Three Two One) The clock strikes twelve and I’ve run out of time

        But the holidays are hard alone
        And I don’t know if I can get through this
        On my own with you on the road
        And a countdown tonight is supposed to end with a kiss
        This new year

        If we only had one night together
        For ever and ever
        Know that I would trade a lifetime
        For one night

        What if I couldn’t stay?
        What if you wouldn’t wait?
        What if you went away?
        Who would save me?
        What if I’m all alone?
        No distractions at all?
        Who would save me?

        What should I say when you say “I can’t do this”?
        How exactly do you think that I can get through this?
        Who will you be with when the countdown starts?
        Who will you kiss when the ball drops?

        Who would save me?

        ——————————————————————————————————————-

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

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